"water which is too pure has no fish." --Ts'ai Ken T'an

[lathriel]

there's a burning
inside? (ha!)
for something just out of reach.
while i scratch it out and flex it away and chase it around the horizon of the tredmill
there is nothing to suffocate this unyielding flame
maybe it's something clutching
grasping at my arterial walls
clinging in vain as it cycles through chambers
dungeons that imprison some inherent bloodlust i just ignore

visions dance on my eyelashes
shiney
the lense slips out of focus to grab them in the foreground
and i have to switch to manual control
indignant
what a speculation, that I am responsible!
prove that i chose to be born!

then i can tell you again that there's no such thing as fate

something's building, a glaring edifice
structural integrity sharply sound, falling flat
and I just saw them burning words
documents and microsoft works
from Twain to Reader's Digest
maybe they lacked the revolutionary fortitude
maybe they just didn't have the intestinal fortitude

but this brick on my pulmonary artery is dialating the 'cells
red white and hemoglobin
circumference rounding off at about 200%
my pupils the abyss into which i dare not venture
large as they are
eerily
alien
...just creepy

this burning? this obstruction? it's flooding through me now
i'm cracklin'
cells combusting
i could reach up into the sky and grab a constellation but i don't think that would do anyone any good
i could retreat into this throbbing and thriving burst of energy
ebb and flow ebb and flow who the hell came up with ebb
unifying clarity
truth? arrogance.
power so bright and beautiful i can't look at it
it's like staring into the sun and like thinking about
well, anything
it hurts and it makes you eyes water but you'll do it anyway just to prove to your bastard little friends that you can

it's surging now
i can hear the hum
the crackle as the flames lash into the ebony night
they burned the words
at the powder puff bon fire
at woodstock 99
at zoe's old fire pit

i can't handle a muse in my blood
much less a god in my veins
i have a distinct feeling that it's going to destroy me
cell by cell