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because I can't learn temperance
I know I'm supposed to be embracing stillness and whatnot, but I've been excited by the mere prospect of this coming back onto the writing desk:
I think I'm going to start working on The Lotus Children again.
I THINK. I don't know. I love this story to death, but I can't decide whether to write it as I've always seen it (which is admittedly a sloppy bit of space opera drama- though still epic!) or try to fix it up and make it more... I don't know. I want it to be the best it can be, but at the same time I don't want to get wrapped up in making it something that will sell or appeal to huge audiences.
The thing is, when you get me started on these books there's no stopping. I have to tell you about the characters, their plight, the dramatic irony, the delicate web of fate, the cultures they come from and detailed cultural practices, the history of their worlds... I know these characters and their worlds inside and out, and to a degree I know their story better than my own. But I have a feeling that there is something in the way I need to tell the story that I haven't quite grasped.
Anyway, I was excited when this came up the other day, and I haven't really stopped being excited since. And holding true to my decision to only write because I love to, I suppose this is the most likely next project to work on :)
I think I'm going to start working on The Lotus Children again.
I THINK. I don't know. I love this story to death, but I can't decide whether to write it as I've always seen it (which is admittedly a sloppy bit of space opera drama- though still epic!) or try to fix it up and make it more... I don't know. I want it to be the best it can be, but at the same time I don't want to get wrapped up in making it something that will sell or appeal to huge audiences.
The thing is, when you get me started on these books there's no stopping. I have to tell you about the characters, their plight, the dramatic irony, the delicate web of fate, the cultures they come from and detailed cultural practices, the history of their worlds... I know these characters and their worlds inside and out, and to a degree I know their story better than my own. But I have a feeling that there is something in the way I need to tell the story that I haven't quite grasped.
Anyway, I was excited when this came up the other day, and I haven't really stopped being excited since. And holding true to my decision to only write because I love to, I suppose this is the most likely next project to work on :)
no subject
but I can't I try and I am miserable
and - even though it DOES take years (sometimes, quite a few...)
I am finally seeing that eventually, with loyalty on my part, the projects ARE getting done
at a snails pace, but one day all of a sudden, I'll have a whole lot written :-P :-)
It was hard for me to trust myself in this, too, and sometimes it still is - I am convinced I won't finish - but I am beginning to finally understand I was wrong. I will. I just need time and space for my drunk butterfly Muse.
*hugs a zillion of them*
no subject
*see icon* the temperance card in the tarot is what saved my sanity through this struggle, actually
it slowly taught me that I don't have to give things up or cut them out, just keep good balance
It is a card that means a GREAT deal to me, I even have a pendant with it and wear it ALOT to remind me
my balance - can be precarious - but I am learning :-)