Every Night Finds Us Rocking and Rolling on Waves Wild and Wide

I'm in such a good place right now. I'm not even overly ecstatic, but I can work myself up to it in very little time (probably by the end of this post). Things are just so good right now, in a peaceful-but-joyous kind of way.

I realized, for all my worrying and skimping when I was unemployed, I actually have quite a bit in my checking account, just sitting there. I'm not gonna go out an spend it all, but it's just so relaxing to suddenly realize that. I don't know why i didn't realize it before- maybe because when it's all I have it doesn't seem like so much, but when it's "extra" it's a lot? Actually, it's just because I changed my perspective. I changed my perspective, and everything changed. But now that I have money coming in, the small amount in my checking account looks huge, since it's not what I'm relying on to support myself.

Also, in two weeks I will be moving into the new apartment! How exciting. I've been resisting the nesting urge so far because I don't want to buy anything before we move, but the interior decorator inside of me is full to bursting with creativity. Paint colors, window fixtures and drapery ideas, furniture arrangement, a kitchen-window herb garden... heee so exciting. Moving is going to be a pain in the ass- we have a huge desk we bought from Sarah and Laura's place of work that will have to be picked up and then hauled up to the third floor where we'll be living. But all will work out, I'm sure. Besides, I already have it easy in that I'm just moving next door, and Jared's got it easy since he just doesn't have much stuff to move.

Also, we're talking about our honeymoon plans. We were originally thinking about Mexico, but realized that most of the tours are closed when we'd be looking to go. Now we're thinking about getting a B&B in New England somewhere near the coast, or maybe Vermont where we could go visit Ben & Jerry, haha. For serious. I've got a travel agent I've used before, it's probably time to give her a call again.

Ok. Off to work. Have a great Monday everyone!

Epiphanies On The March

Apparently I'm post-happy today.

So I just realized something about myself as a writer, in relation to my realization about myself last week, how I am so ungrounded in my sense of self. In the same way that I have a tendency to lose myself as a person or a witch or a whatever when I do things in a community, so too do I tend to lose my self-confidence in my own writing when I compare myself to my peers.

Silly, I know.

For the most part I am a very confident writer, for the simple fact that it seems to be the one thing I do that legitimately impresses people. I also have had my proud moments, and I try to keep the memories of those moments clear and close to the surface. But when I do begin to doubt my skills as a writer, it's usually because I've just read something really really good, and that author's style is nothing like my own.

I need to remember that an author's voice and style is just as important as the story and characters, and the wrong author for the wrong story creates a poor work of fiction. I don't believe that the wrong story ever comes to the wrong author, but to try to force yourself to change because you admired another author's work is like trying to force your baby to have blonde hair and blue eyes when you and your mate have brown hair and brown eyes. Or something along those lines. Genetic manipulation is scary. Anyway.

I feel refreshed having discovered that. I don't think it will happen anymore. :)