Yes.

I was looking for a way to say this, and then I got this daily quote in my email from Abraham-Hicks (no surprise, this email is all about the law of attraction):

"Everything that I think that I need to do is all only in order to propel me to some place that when I get there, I think I will be happier. So, everything that I am doing, no matter what it is, all of my lists of rights and wrongs… are all about me getting to a manifestation that I believe I will then be happier... So, why don’t I take a short cut and just go get happy?"

Wow.

So, hello law of attraction, your evidence is manifold today. I was mid-post of this entry when I read my best friend's entry that dealt partially with the fear that this directly opposes...

I realized last night when I was washing my face (a typical time for a mind-boggling realization) that... I don't care if The Lotus Children series ever gets published.

Jiggawhat?

I know. It's still weird to me. But I've written Renaissance, and I love it, and I still love all the characters, and the story, and some day I will write the other six books. But... I don't know. Maybe it's because the story is so close to my heart- it's a part of me that represents much more than how well I tell stories, or how stubborn I must be to hold onto an idea for (going on) fourteen years. But as long as I do tell the story, at least once, I know that it is enough. It's such a relief to not care.

Of course, that won't stop me from trying to get it published.

I... I can't tell if I feel this way about all of my stories. I have a feeling of certainty that gets in the way- I am certain I will be published soon. So, if I say "i don't care if I ever get published" is that partially because I already know I will be? I guess it doesn't matter. I have high hopes for so many of my novels and stories- but if this one or that one never hits the presses, who cares? I'm young- I have a lifetime of story ideas waiting for me.

And of course, once I'm super famous the publishers will eat up anything they can get from me- am I right? ;D Ahh optimism.