I wonder sometimes why I keep this journal. And then at the same time, why I post to it so frequently. I got into an introspective mood today while writing a mockery of beat poetry to elevate my word count. (My beat poetry, even in mockery, is terrible. Poetry has never been my forte unless something absolutely traumatic had happened and I was coping with it via psilocybin or dextromethorphan [terrible ways to cope, btw, because you don't at all, you just write subtle poetry filled with clever imagery and puns].) Not that the fake beat poetry really had much to do with my introspection. I dunno. Automatic writing triggered a thought process that wasn't recorded but was duly noted. Or something.
I don't know. All I can say is that I'm not ready to look at these ghosts. But their voices are really beginning to wear me down.
Shaky ground.
I got to 26,000 today which is really not half bad. Going to see The Fountain tonight with Joseph, then to Gordon's with friends. I hope everything continues to get progressively better for a little while longer before fate (fucking fate! I'll prove that' you're a man made concept if it's the last thing I do! Just like time!) decides it's time to re-balance again.
I don't know. All I can say is that I'm not ready to look at these ghosts. But their voices are really beginning to wear me down.
Shaky ground.
I got to 26,000 today which is really not half bad. Going to see The Fountain tonight with Joseph, then to Gordon's with friends. I hope everything continues to get progressively better for a little while longer before fate (fucking fate! I'll prove that' you're a man made concept if it's the last thing I do! Just like time!) decides it's time to re-balance again.