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gaaaah!!!!!! SQUISH
Sep. 11th, 2005 10:17 amIf you know me, you know I can't resist the soft and fuzzy. Maybe 
( this ) will show you why, by giving you an accurate picture of the kind of irresistible squishability I've grown up with.
SO SQUISHY!
ahhh sundays. so productive. I've come up with a new name for myself so that I don't have to say "single-no friends-out of school-unemployed-living at home" anymore. I am now a "solitaire picayune" as i am alone and accomplishing nothing of importance. although yesterday was a lovely day: I walked from the village to transit, got espresso at that abhorrently stuffy Cafe Espresso where I paid too much for not a lot of beverage but got to sit at a cozy bistro table and actually write something for once in a long while. I haven't actually worked on my books in a few months, and it was nice to be able to think clearly about them for a change. It makes me feel like more of an artisan than an unskilled laborer, which is all part of my internal struggle that keeps me from getting a job, or at least really trying to get a job.
should I continue to whore myself to the corporate world and work endless, unrewarding hours for bare monetary sustenance? or should I actually sit down and work and get something published? the ability is there, just not the self-discipline or the concentration. These books have haunted me for so long all other stories have been driven from my mind.
maybe i need to isolate myself somewhere and just purge my mind of these books for the time being. write them all down, all the little nuances and plot twists and characters and their conflicts and resolutions. just get it out so i don't have to worry about forgetting it but so that i can concentrate on something different. something on a much smaller scale that conceivably may be "finishable" in the next few months. maybe before the spring semester starts and i am busy again.
meh.
maybe i should go for another long walk and consider this.
have a nice sunday, eljay world!
( this ) will show you why, by giving you an accurate picture of the kind of irresistible squishability I've grown up with.SO SQUISHY!
ahhh sundays. so productive. I've come up with a new name for myself so that I don't have to say "single-no friends-out of school-unemployed-living at home" anymore. I am now a "solitaire picayune" as i am alone and accomplishing nothing of importance. although yesterday was a lovely day: I walked from the village to transit, got espresso at that abhorrently stuffy Cafe Espresso where I paid too much for not a lot of beverage but got to sit at a cozy bistro table and actually write something for once in a long while. I haven't actually worked on my books in a few months, and it was nice to be able to think clearly about them for a change. It makes me feel like more of an artisan than an unskilled laborer, which is all part of my internal struggle that keeps me from getting a job, or at least really trying to get a job.
should I continue to whore myself to the corporate world and work endless, unrewarding hours for bare monetary sustenance? or should I actually sit down and work and get something published? the ability is there, just not the self-discipline or the concentration. These books have haunted me for so long all other stories have been driven from my mind.
maybe i need to isolate myself somewhere and just purge my mind of these books for the time being. write them all down, all the little nuances and plot twists and characters and their conflicts and resolutions. just get it out so i don't have to worry about forgetting it but so that i can concentrate on something different. something on a much smaller scale that conceivably may be "finishable" in the next few months. maybe before the spring semester starts and i am busy again.
meh.
maybe i should go for another long walk and consider this.
have a nice sunday, eljay world!
