On Persimmons

I sometimes wonder if I am a dull person, simply because when I thoroughly believe that I am passionate and utterly motivated to do or accomplish something, I usually end up either watching t.v. or updating my livejournal. This is among the reasons why I've deleted my other internet accounts- the temptation of procrastination, even when I actually want to do something else, is too great. It's not that my life or my personality are dull, but whatever flame supposedly burns inside of us all, the one inside of me is flickering weakly against winds of distraction, rapid fire thought processes, and an animal-like desire for comfort. There is something exhausting about chronic pain. And there is something overwhelming about not having enough time of your day occupied with obligations.

I ate a persimmon today for the first time, and I expected it to be rich and full of flavor, like a mango or papaya or some other tropical fruit. After all, the thing was the size of an orange but cost $1.50, so I figured it must have some kind of unique flavor. It was a deep rich tangerine color, shaped like a pomegranate seed. The meat inside was equally bright, and it appeared succulent and ripe. But, the point of all of this heavy description is to punctuate the fact that once I did taste it, I was terribly disappointed. It was only vaguely sweet, and the rest was just... bland. There was no unique flavor. There was nothing to distiguish this fruit from any other flavor... but for the fact that it lacked any.

If you're thinking I'm going anywhere with this, I'm not. I'm just disappointed that I paid $1.50 for a fruit that has no taste.

I'm excited about finishing my NaNo and getting the free bound printing from LuLu.com.
I'm excited to move out with Phil and Scott.
I'm excited to start school and be busy again.

I'm a little nervous about the orthopedic doctor, besides that my appointment is for 7 am. I don't want another ego-maniac doctor who is going to try to give me some generic treatment that he gives to everyone with similar symptoms, because that kind of "treatment" is part of what got me here. And I don't want a doctor who's going to push prescriptions and/or surgery. And I don't want a doctor who's going to give me shit about any of the other doctors or specialists I've already gone to. The medical world is full of assholes. But I hope I hope I hope he's the last doctor I get referred to, and not because no one can figure it out.

And now, I'm going to hang upside-down for 120 seconds.

crabby patties

Okay so I admit I've sort of back-slid lately, gotten a little bitter and a little self-pitying. All a natural part of the healing process. It's cool though, because I can see it, so I can say "yo bitch, oh no you di'n't!" But oh is it going to be a long cold winter. Not miserable though, because so many exciting things will be happening, right? Exciting.

Also exciting? Narnia opens Thursday night/Friday. I'm not so much a huge fan of the books, although they were good, but James McAvoy plays Mr. Tumnus, so HOT DAMN! God Emperor of Dune turns into a half-goat-half-man thing that drinks tea with little girls!

Also also exciting? Ikea! They've got some sweet beds I was looking at, the kind that at high up and have storage cabinets and drawers under them. Since I think my bedroom at the apartment will be about 6x6, I need to save as much space as possible. And since I don't have a closet there either, Ikea also has a nifty free-standing unit that would fit nicely next to the door. Whee! I love nesting.

Alright, well, if I'm going to get up early I suppose I should go to bed. I would rather work on my book, but I'm still struggling to puzzle out the ending. Does anyone know anything about firing squads? Wikipedia actually couldn't help much with that one.