lathriel: (Default)
The idea of giving up. Of being helpless- or not just helpless, but believing that I am helpless. It's so wrong to the core of who I am that I reject it. I've been there periodically over the years, but that is essentially my "rock bottom." I don't stay there long. Having nothing left to lose breeds a kind of temporary insanity in me, just enough to stop caring and live despite the fact that "reality" bites. I know there's so much more to life than what we see and hear about and read in the papers. For instance, if the economy is so bad, why have two new broweries opened up in Williamsville this year? (Yeah, for your EYEBROWS) I'm still learning though, about how much power I actually have. I'm constantly amazed.
lathriel: (Default)
There was no #12 so...

Day 13 – This week

This week is insane so far. I'm working from Sunday to Friday, at the kiosk and at the new job, morning and evening. I probably won't be on the internet much after this afternoon. I'm working on mind-mapping my old novels and potential new ones, and revising some short stories I cranked out recently. Also, as of tomorrow it will have been 4 weeks since I sent in my exclusive query for TPaL, so they told me if I haven't heard from them I can bug them. I will. And I'll be sending out more queries if I don't hear back by the end of the week. I still have such a strong and positive feeling about TPaL, no matter who I'm sending it to :)

Day 14 – What you wore today

Eh I don't like these questions. I don't even remember what I wore yesterday, and I don't particularly think it helps you to know me better- I'm not a very fashion conscious person.


Day 15 – Your dreams

My actual dreams (since aspirations are a later question) are often very foggy lately. I go through periods where I know I dream, but can't remember, and then I'll go through periods where I dream and I dream BIG. Like, apocalyptic big, or clear and obvious interpretation big. I have plenty of dreams that have stuck with me over the years, and yes, I've had dreams that later went on to become reality.

I don't usually think of dreams as a means of predicting the future, but I do think they can offer us excellent insight into situations at hand on a personal level. Carl Jung had some good ideas on it.

Day 9

Oct. 6th, 2010 02:44 pm
lathriel: (magdalene)
Your beliefs

Oh boy, well, this could be a very long and complicated post, but I'll try to keep it simple.

I believe that we are all an extension of some kind of divine energy, and therefore are all gods. I believe that we have the ability to shape our reality, to manifest our dreams, and that we are responsible for manifesting even the things we don't like when they come.

I believe thoughts are powerful, and that they become things.

I believe the reason for life is joy.

I believe that fighting against things we don't want has never worked, and creating things we do want has.

I believe my heart belongs to the desert, and my heart belongs to the sea.

I believe in spirits and ghosts, and reincarnation, soul mates, soul families.

I believe in magic, but none that can be controlled by special words or instruments or gestures.

I believe that to create is the highest form of worship one can take part in, and brings us into alignment with "god."

I believe that the truth, and reality, are different for everyone.

I believe my beliefs are growing and changing, every day.

Day 5 and 6

Oct. 3rd, 2010 05:40 pm
lathriel: (Default)
Your definition of love

I believe in many different kinds of love, but what love is in and of itself... well, I guess to me it's when a part of your soul recognizes a part of another person or animal's soul. Maybe. See, I think we have the capacity to love all creatures and people, that at our core human beings are made of an energy quite similar in frequency to love. But we get bogged down by a lot of physical and mental things, and we lose that ability to love freely.

Day 06 – Your day
My days are never the same. Today I woke up around 9:30, undeniably coming down with whatever Jared had last week. We drove to my parents' house in Williamsville for brunch (buckwheat pancakes in Star Wars shapes, bacon, coffee, nomnomnom) and to do laundry, and we all talked about school and investments and life. It's always nice to go over there with Jared. I'm so glad they love him :)

Then we came home, stopping at Wegman's on the way to get some soup from their deli- I don't like canned chicken soup. When came back, switched out our summer clothes for fall and winter, and put the air conditioner away. I'm currently lying on the love seat feeling awful because my head is full of fluids that don't belong there :p
lathriel: (Default)
Hmmm today I ate an apple for breakfast, with a scoop of peanut butter, and for lunch my mother took me out to Taste of India for their lunch buffet. I cannot hardly pronounce, let alone spell, what we ate there. But it was FANTASTIC.

Right now I'm drinking a cup of coffee while I brainstorm for this year's NaNoWriMo :)
lathriel: (dancedancedance)
Since I finished the writing meme, it's back to this. Check out the first two days by clicking on the tag "30 day meme" below :)

Your Parents

Guys. My parents... my parents are... So. Effing. I don't even know. Half the time I think they're awesome, half the time I think they're insane. I love them to death.

My dad grew up in Irvington, NY, and comes from a Jewish family right out of the Bronx. His parents were lovely, and I miss them a lot lately. He was a hippy, went to school for a degree in psychology, considered chiropractic college, and then was sidetracked by a false promise that he could learn to heal physical and spiritual wounds through communication... more on this in a second.

My mother grew up around here, actually, in Kenmore, NY. She was the least favorite of four girls, the second oldest, the "weird" one. They're all weird, as it turned out, my mother was just into theater. She got her degree in performing arts, and when she came back to Buffalo, she found something else to do...

You see, both of my parents are very "into" spiritual growth and evolution. They met (sigh) at the Church of Scientology, where they both worked for years and years. My mother was seeing someone at the time, but broke up with him for my father. They were married in my mother's parent's living room, six months after they met. So if you thought my marriage came fast, think again.

My father has owned an organic lawn care company for about 20 years now, in addition to some online stores that sell organic lawn products. He's built it up from scratch, and I'm very proud of him. My mother went back to school when I started elementary school, and she got her PhD in holistic nutrition. She's had a private practice that she runs out of their home for years, and she has helped a great deal of people find health again.

My parents are wonderful people. They're not without their flaws (sometimes I really think my mom goes crazy when she gets angry- the things she says just don't make sense!), but for the most part they are nothing but wise, generous, kind, funny, intelligent, welcoming people. I get a lot of who I am from them. They never raised us with religion (they left the Church of Scientology, thank god), but only a belief that we were spirits having a physical experience. One of my favorite memories is when I was seven years old, I sat down with my mother and said "Let's have a conversation." "Okay, about what?" "About God. Do you think he exists?" and my mother replied "Well, what do you think?" and that was always how it was. They encouraged me to explore, to think for myself, to gather facts and decide based on what felt right to me, and no one else.

Every year for the past seven (or eight?) years we've had a huge Halloween party. Halloween is my mother's and my favorite holiday, and we go all out. Her friends, my friends, family, people we've never met... everyone is invited. We don't give prizes for costumes, because it would be impossible to decide, and everyone just looks so awesome. My Dad went as Flavor Flav one year. Yeah.

I don't know what else to tell you, except that these are my parents, and it's no wonder I ended up the way I did ;D

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