Samsara

And on the note of people worshipping stress, I had a realization Monday night: maybe if we all just acknowledged each other's efforts more often, from a positive perspective instead of sympathy, we wouldn't feel the need to dramatize our stress. If someone was constantly telling you how awesome you are for the things you do, or simply saying that they acknowledge and respect what you're doing, maybe you'd feel good about it, not stressed. Maybe you'd take the time to acknowledge others. Maybe we should all try to do this, just to see what happens?

That is not to say YOU specifically, or anyone, doesn't already take some time to tell people "I see what you're doin' thar, tis good." Let's just ramp it up a notch, eh? Validate people before they have the chance to start grumbling.

Anyway, onto my own "stress." Further along the experimentation lines, I'd like to talk about lists. How do you feel about lists? I think they're awesome, the best way of organizing ever, and to empty my brain of tasks so that I can focus one at a time. But some people find them oppressive- "oh shit I forgot about that, and that, and that..." But I think for my purposes I'm going to make a list now. In lieu of in-person external validation, I am going to write it out and validate myself.

So, here has been life since September:

1.) Meet my soul mate.
2.) Get engaged.
3.) Finish the semester.
4.) Graduate from college, and end the 6 year era of me being only pseudo-independent.
5.) Begin planning a wedding. The reception venue and the dress were the MOST stressful to find.
5.a.) Begin being a bridesmaid and substitute maid of honor for my friend whose MoH lives in Cali.
6.) Job hunt forever, doubt my value as a human, my ability as a writer, my capacity for independence, etc.
7.) Start new job working for the family business.
7.a) Start said business from scratch.
8.) Find a new apartment for Jared and I.
9.) Still planning that wedding!
10.) Move into the new apartment.
11.) Plan bridal shower for friend.
12.) Take over paying for all my own stuff, for the first time ever (I've had rent, phone, and some groceries covered during college... spoiled, I know, but I still have to face the adjustment)
13.) Take on a freelance editing assignment.
14.) Hello, wedding planning. What's that, everyone now has an opinion but I still have to do all the work?

And that's leaving out a lot of equally stressful small details.

Ahhh but you know what, despite the stress, it's really freaking awesome! *pats self on back* Besides, if I wasn't under gratuitous amounts of stress I wouldn't have had this opportunity for spiritual growth. And, by the way, I'm really enjoying experimenting with ideas about "stress." So yay for me! Soon this will all be over, and I'll be bored, haha. No, a writer is never bored. But you know what I mean.

Speaking of writing, The Hierophant is reinventing itself, tightening its universe and characters, making itself more fun and, well, rock 'n' roll. ;D Also, I'm definitely over the halfway point in The Poppet and the Lune, and I'm excited to begin the home stretch. Ooooh the ending is going to be so awesome! And I think once things settle down around here, I'm going to begin working on some sketches for illustrations. Yes! And maybe, one day, I will actually get around to that animation...

Well, happy Beltane Eve everyone! Have a wonderful May Day weekend!

I finished Midnight Estates this morning in Film History. I'm not happy with it, but what else is new for me finishing a novel? I will be in time. After a day off and some meditation, I decided my next writing project will be The Poppet and the Lune, though I've yet to decide if I'm going to write it as a novel or a series of short stories. I might pick up The Hierophant and read through it, too, but then again I might not. I don't know if I should finish revising and editing that before I begin its sequel, The Tower. Although, I already technically wrote the prologue for that one.

Hmm.

So, here's an excerpt from the novel I finished, all choppy and rough drafty and NaNo-y.

( I will follow you to the end of time... and whatever lies after. )

(yes the cut text is a quote from the novel. I am self-important like that. ;p )