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Transitions and the Dreamtime
Feb. 23rd, 2010 07:00 pmRemember that schedule I laid out for myself the other week? Yeah, that didn't happen. Winter is a hard month for me creatively because I just want to sleep all the time. The cold, the darkness, the cold, the snow, the cold, the dreamtimeliness... did I mention the cold? It all lulls me into a haze of non-productivity, of lounging and sleeping and eating and reading.
But... I'm trying not to beat myself up over it. My body says to take it easy, and worrying about it as if I'm wasting time (as if I'm running out of it) doesn't help. Worry and stress never helps, a lesson I am continuously learning. And the odd thing is, or maybe not so odd depending on your school of thought, is that the more I let my body do what it wants the better I feel emotionally, the more ideas come to me, the more capable I feel about my future. I'm still not writing all that much, but a little bit here and there, and the ideas are swarming and gestating in my head. I'm building the excitement.
They (the ancients, the pagans, the new agers, the spiritual) call winter "The Dreamtime" for a reason. All year long we are growing, producing, creating, blossoming and bearing fruit and harvesting. And in the winter, maybe it really is a good time to rest (despite what our society says, that we should be as productive as possible no matter what). Maybe now is a good time to work on cultivating the strength of our roots and our foundations, to let our weary brain muscles relax and repair themselves from the often strenuous birthing process of so many projects. It's a good time to look back, and to look forward.
This year in particular for me has been a winter of introspection, looking at the past through new eyes, and thinking about possibilities for the future. I have finally finished college (and hopefully school, forever!); I am re-entering the workforce, and when I do, I will be moving into a new apartment with Jared; I'm getting married in the summer; and I still have so many hopes, and dreams, and ideas- there are so many stories I want to tell, places I want to go, career goals I want to set and meet. I'm nebulous at the moment, or so it would seem. But things are moving along and taking shape, even if I can't see it and measure it and hold it up as evidence of change.
I still want to push myself. I want to get out to the gym a few times a week, and stop eating so much junk, and to write more. But I don't want to beat myself up if I'm just too tired, and I don't want to feel bad if I sleep in or stay up too late. Hell, if I'm unemployed, I might as well make the best of it!
Just my thoughts on the winter doldrums.
But... I'm trying not to beat myself up over it. My body says to take it easy, and worrying about it as if I'm wasting time (as if I'm running out of it) doesn't help. Worry and stress never helps, a lesson I am continuously learning. And the odd thing is, or maybe not so odd depending on your school of thought, is that the more I let my body do what it wants the better I feel emotionally, the more ideas come to me, the more capable I feel about my future. I'm still not writing all that much, but a little bit here and there, and the ideas are swarming and gestating in my head. I'm building the excitement.
They (the ancients, the pagans, the new agers, the spiritual) call winter "The Dreamtime" for a reason. All year long we are growing, producing, creating, blossoming and bearing fruit and harvesting. And in the winter, maybe it really is a good time to rest (despite what our society says, that we should be as productive as possible no matter what). Maybe now is a good time to work on cultivating the strength of our roots and our foundations, to let our weary brain muscles relax and repair themselves from the often strenuous birthing process of so many projects. It's a good time to look back, and to look forward.
This year in particular for me has been a winter of introspection, looking at the past through new eyes, and thinking about possibilities for the future. I have finally finished college (and hopefully school, forever!); I am re-entering the workforce, and when I do, I will be moving into a new apartment with Jared; I'm getting married in the summer; and I still have so many hopes, and dreams, and ideas- there are so many stories I want to tell, places I want to go, career goals I want to set and meet. I'm nebulous at the moment, or so it would seem. But things are moving along and taking shape, even if I can't see it and measure it and hold it up as evidence of change.
I still want to push myself. I want to get out to the gym a few times a week, and stop eating so much junk, and to write more. But I don't want to beat myself up if I'm just too tired, and I don't want to feel bad if I sleep in or stay up too late. Hell, if I'm unemployed, I might as well make the best of it!
Just my thoughts on the winter doldrums.
